No Questions Asked (#45)

Last night I walked in 20 minutes after curfew soaking wet. I was literally dripping on the floor. After leaving the house with plans to meet my two friends at Skinny Dip (a frozen yogurt place), you would think coming home wet was unexpected and might be cause for alarm. This entrance, however, warranted no response from my parents. I got an “Oh, she’s home. We can go to bed now.” I even made a point to stay in the living room for a few minutes, walking in front of my dad watching TV. Nothing. Not one question as to why I was wet.

About to go into a “my parents don’t love me enough to notice something so blatantly obvious as walking in late and wet” panic, I texted the friends I had been with and one, who wasn’t there but knows me pretty well, to shock them with the fact I hadn’t gotten in trouble. In fact, it seemed to me they didn’t care at all. The text read, “Wow my mom had no idea. Wtf. My dad didn’t notice either. Great Parents. Really. I applaud them.” This was, of course, sarcasm. I could only imagine what kind of inattentive parents don’t notice when a perfectly dry child leaves for frozen yogurt and comes home wet. Surely, not my parents. Had I overestimated their ability to parent with absurd overprotectiveness all these years? I’m still in that stage when “My parents are the smartest people in the world!” turns into “I’m so much smarter than these clowns.”Could I be sure my parents weren’t unobservant potatoes for all my life and I just never realized? Maybe I got that from them.

The friend of mine who hadn’t been there when I got wet, but knew what happened replied, “Oh, well maybe you don’t look as wet as you should,” which was not likely, considering the trail of water from the front door to my room. He then went on to suggest, “or they’ve just come to expect there are certain… aspects of you…” EUREKA. I almost forgot, I’m a freak. It’s a known fact, weird things happen to me more often than most people; my parents can’t keep up with all the strange things I do. How could I expect them to ask me “What happened?” every time I come home? They would die from exhaustion. My mom even says, “It’s best I don’t know everything.” I understand that. Who can possibly put up with all my shenanigans? Then he justified my parents’ lack of curiosity further by saying, “I mean… as long as there is no blood or anything broken, they’re just happy you’ve made it through another day.” I had to admit, my friend was right to some extent. Still, this time the story wasn’t even that weird.

Let me assure you, the wetness wasn’t anything to be worried about. I didn’t get my head flushed in a toilet by a bully and no crazed killer attempted to drown me in the Chesapeake bay, but is it too much to ask for a little concern? After Skinny Dip we went back to my friend’s house because there was still a some time ;eft before we had to go home. We were outside with just our feet in her pool, talking, when I remembered something from my ToDo List, which it would be the perfect time to do. I think  you can guess now. We went swimming… with our clothes on. It was so fun! I loved it! We made air pockets with our shirts pretending we were fat and tried to laugh underwater. You know, the usual. Now I can cross #45 off the list!

I should probably just be happy my parents never get mad when I miss curfew. Thanks parents.

It's a little hard to see, but we're in a pool... with clothes on.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. hotshot bald cop
    Aug 30, 2011 @ 17:34:36

    I never thought of it that way, well put!

    Reply

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