The beginning of the end.

I know these extra, irrelevant, random posts are just a form of procrastination from catching up on my ToDo List Posts, but I feel this one is necessary.It just occurred to me that tomorrow is my last first day of school. Well, that is, until college when I will have more important things to worry about: getting to know my roommate, getting used to the food, figuring out where my classes are, meeting new people, living in a new home away from my parents. I will never feel the same, simultaneous nervousness/excitement waking up at 6 a.m. after a three-month vacation with a new tan and a new wardrobe and new expectations. I already know most everyone I will see tomorrow, because they’re mostly the same people I’ve seen for the past four years, whereas in college, I will know little to no one and have to make all new friends. To be honest, I don’t know what gets everyone so riled up about the first day of school. Now that I’ve seen 12 first days, I know that there really isn’t anything to be excited about anymore. I already know all my teachers, where my classes are, and probably who I’ll sit with.

I guess it’s the fact that my mom won’t be watching me walk to the bus stop this year, or dropping me off at school. I’ll be driving myself to school in my own car and parking in the forbidden Senior Parking Lot. That might be what’s giving me the hebegebies. Maybe I’m just worried about starting this school year off on the right foot. Last year I actually made a mental note to step into the building with my right foot (for good juju, karma, etc.) but after exploring the possibilities of switching feet mid-step and falling flat on my face and then¬†getting nervous about that, I ended up forgetting to do it all together. I suppose this year I could try again, because seniors are much more poised and confident and mature… yea right. I might feel a little different with each passing year, but whatever is changing it’s definitely not my maturity. I know I will eternally be a kid: heart, mind, and soul.

It used to worry me that my friends and I seem to be growing up so quickly, but I think it’s just our time. I don’t have regrets, I don’t wish I would have done anything differently (except maybe studying for a few tests to avoid some Cs in Earth Science, Chemistry,¬†and Pre-Calculus), but I do wish I could have had more time. I suppose it never seems fair when it’s over. Otherwise Jim Croce wouldn’t have written a song that goes, “There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them.” I am a little scared that with all my activities (being an SCA officer, school newspaper, volleyball, French Honor Society, a middle school leadership workshop, PLUS being in IB) my senior year will fly by and I’ll be graduating before I know it. I just hope that this year will be one to remember. I’ve found what I want to do and I hope that one year is enough time to do it.

Well, I don’t want to get into the deep sentimentality pertaining to my big day tomorrow because it will make me even more anxious. So goodnight to all of you school-bound or not tomorrow morning.

To those of you who are starting a new school year tomorrow, no matter what grade, start it off on the right foot.

yellow dahlia

yellow dahlia