“You’re not gonna make it to 18,” she said.

Tomorrow, well in about ten and a half hours, I will be 18 years old. I will be considered legally an adult, no longer a child. Not that it matters much because I feel that I will always embrace the child in me; it’s how I am and always will be. I was scared, yesterday, last week, last month, because of all the things I thought I hadn’t got to experience. I’ve been feeling like my senior year is slowly slipping away from me as I’m trapped under all this work and all my (extremely time-consuming) commitments. I tell myself every week that I’ll get to spend some time with my friends, especially those I haven’t seen in months. It never happens and yes, it’s a mood-dampener… one could say my mood has been sopping wet for the last few months. (The new boyfriend might have something to do with this, but I definitely don’t blame him because he’s the best thing that’s happened to me this year.) All this moisture is from missing my friends, but what happens when I begin to miss my childhood? Will my mood just drown in a deep puddle of depression like most, if not all, of the adults I know who, it seems, are constantly mourning the loss? No. Not I.

I am proud of the things I have accomplished; this year, the last 17 of them, it has all been great fun. I’ve done 50% of the things people are not legally allowed to do until they turn 17.
 1. Go to a rated-R movie without an adult over 21 present.
 2. Be tried as an adult in court.

Thankfully, the 50% of things I can say I’ve done legally as a 17-year-old does not include the second item on the aforementioned list. I probably wouldn’t have made it to 18, as my mom predicted, because she would have killed me.

I think 18 brings about another list of new things to do. I won’t do all of them right away, but I want to make sure I do all of them by the time I’m 19. Wow, 19. I don’t even want to think about that number yet. Here are the things I can (not necessarily will) do before that happens.

  • Vote
  • Open a checking account
  • Stay out after 11 p.m.
  • Get a tattoo/piercing
  • Be drafted/enlist into the military
  • Serve on a jury (It sounds so fun, I don’t know why grown-ups dread it so much.)
  • File a lawsuit/be sued
  • Change your name
  • Buy spray paint
  • Work more hours
  • Go clubbing
  • Pawn something
  • Get married/divorced
  • Be on Jerry Springer
  • Buy a lottery ticket
  • Get a hotel room
  • Get a Costco membership (Gee Whilakers… I don’t even know how to spell that.)
  • Skydive or go bungee jumping
  • Sign legal documents/contracts
  • Gamble
  • Secure a loan
  • Finance a car
  • Buy insurance
  • Earn credit
  • Buy porn
  • Buy cigarettes
  • Go to a hookah bar
  • Work in an alcohol-serving establishment
  • Apply for a business license
  • Apply for a credit card
  • Go to/work in a strip club (Remember, I said I wouldn’t be doing all of these.)
  • Enter a contest
  • Write a check
  • Get utilities in your name
  • Lease/buy an apartment or house
  • Cash a savings bond
  • Buy nitrous oxide (Umm… I don’t even know for what I would use this.)
  • Rent a post office box

That may be all of them, but it probably isn’t. (Thanks to

I like to think that I feel at least somewhat differently after a birthday, when in reality I’ll be the same person tomorrow that I am right now, writing this. After I’ve considered all the cool things I’ll get to do, as well as all the cool things I will appreciate being able to do without actually doing them, the only sad thing I can come up with about 18 is that it’s the beginning of the years that start to matter less and less individually. There will only be a “major” birthday every 10 years, except 21, and instead of being happy that I’m turning 28, I’ll be sad and tell people I’m turning 22… Hopefully I’ll still look like I’m six years younger than my actual age, like my friends say I look now. Thanks, friends; I’m 12.

I haven’t even considered how my parents might be feeling right now. I wonder if they’re as anxious as I am. Or are they nervous? Terrified? When I brought it up last week he told me to “cut that s*** out,” probably referring to my growing older. All I can say to them at this moment, especially to my mother, is:

Mom, I WILL, in fact, make it to 18! Thank you very much…

No Questions Asked (#45)

Last night I walked in 20 minutes after curfew soaking wet. I was literally dripping on the floor. After leaving the house with plans to meet my two friends at Skinny Dip (a frozen yogurt place), you would think coming home wet was unexpected and might be cause for alarm. This entrance, however, warranted no response from my parents. I got an “Oh, she’s home. We can go to bed now.” I even made a point to stay in the living room for a few minutes, walking in front of my dad watching TV. Nothing. Not one question as to why I was wet.

About to go into a “my parents don’t love me enough to notice something so blatantly obvious as walking in late and wet” panic, I texted the friends I had been with and one, who wasn’t there but knows me pretty well, to shock them with the fact I hadn’t gotten in trouble. In fact, it seemed to me they didn’t care at all. The text read, “Wow my mom had no idea. Wtf. My dad didn’t notice either. Great Parents. Really. I applaud them.” This was, of course, sarcasm. I could only imagine what kind of inattentive parents don’t notice when a perfectly dry child leaves for frozen yogurt and comes home wet. Surely, not my parents. Had I overestimated their ability to parent with absurd overprotectiveness all these years? I’m still in that stage when “My parents are the smartest people in the world!” turns into “I’m so much smarter than these clowns.”Could I be sure my parents weren’t unobservant potatoes for all my life and I just never realized? Maybe I got that from them.

The friend of mine who hadn’t been there when I got wet, but knew what happened replied, “Oh, well maybe you don’t look as wet as you should,” which was not likely, considering the trail of water from the front door to my room. He then went on to suggest, “or they’ve just come to expect there are certain… aspects of you…” EUREKA. I almost forgot, I’m a freak. It’s a known fact, weird things happen to me more often than most people; my parents can’t keep up with all the strange things I do. How could I expect them to ask me “What happened?” every time I come home? They would die from exhaustion. My mom even says, “It’s best I don’t know everything.” I understand that. Who can possibly put up with all my shenanigans? Then he justified my parents’ lack of curiosity further by saying, “I mean… as long as there is no blood or anything broken, they’re just happy you’ve made it through another day.” I had to admit, my friend was right to some extent. Still, this time the story wasn’t even that weird.

Let me assure you, the wetness wasn’t anything to be worried about. I didn’t get my head flushed in a toilet by a bully and no crazed killer attempted to drown me in the Chesapeake bay, but is it too much to ask for a little concern? After Skinny Dip we went back to my friend’s house because there was still a some time ;eft before we had to go home. We were outside with just our feet in her pool, talking, when I remembered something from my ToDo List, which it would be the perfect time to do. I think  you can guess now. We went swimming… with our clothes on. It was so fun! I loved it! We made air pockets with our shirts pretending we were fat and tried to laugh underwater. You know, the usual. Now I can cross #45 off the list!

I should probably just be happy my parents never get mad when I miss curfew. Thanks parents.

It's a little hard to see, but we're in a pool... with clothes on.

#3, 9, 118, & 121

Obviously it has been quite sometime since I’ve posted updates about my ToDo List and a lot has happened in that time. Since my first ever Skype sesh I’ve crossed off #3, #9, #118, and #121. Although I haven’t been successful in posting for every single item on the list, I’m making progress. There are approximately 52.177457 weeks in a year and there are 121 items on my list. Seeing as it is only the second week of 2011 and I’ve already been able to cross off five items, I’d say I’m off to a rather good start. I hope I’ll be able to keep this going.

Friday evening my friend came over because neither of us had plans so we looked at the list and decided #3 would be fun. Yes, we ate ice-cream outside while it was merely 24° outside. Well it wasn’t exactly “ice-cream” per say. We went to Skinny Dip so technically it was “frozen yogurt,” but I really can’t tell the difference because I like both! And 24° is only and estimation because that was the reported low temperature and since it was after 10 p.m., I’m pretty sure it was closer to the low temperature than the high temperature for that day, which was 42°. This is just rambling now, but it brings me to my next point.

Completing #3 made it necessary to complete #9 as well. In order to successfully purchase and consume the “frozen yogurt” outdoors it was impossible to be home before 10 p.m. considering we left my house at 9:50. Oh, my curfew is 10 p.m., by the way, not the official 11 p.m. curfew like most teenage drivers. This is because I am a relatively new driver and there is a “huge difference” in driving between 10 and 11 (says my Dad); although, I’ve been out driving after 11 before and it’s really not any different, but that is a whole other story. After eating the “frozen yogurt” my friend and I returned home around 10:45 crossing #9 off the list.

Next I was able to cross of #118 because I am finally able to do something with my parents old record albums: play them. For christmas my family got a record player and it’s pretty much the coolest thing I’ve ever owned in my life. I love it and I use it almost all the time. Ever since Christmas Day we’ve been playing records and dancing, the house is always filled with music. Not only is it a regularly used appliance now, it has also become a source of entertainment among my friends. They love going through the record albums and finding something they know. I’m so happy those records aren’t just sitting in a trunk, lonely anymore!

Last but not least, I completed #121. Someone told me that I “make [her] day” yesterday in English, or maybe it was history… Anyways, she is such a sweet girl and I’m glad I made her day. :]

Keep a look-out for more posts. I’ve already made plans for completing and crossing off a few more items from my ToDo List!

yellow dahlia

yellow dahlia